imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
