Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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