Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
