Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
