thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Randomize
