Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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