drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
