I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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