So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
