I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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