My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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