I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
