I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
