me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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