where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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