Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
