it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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