Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
