shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
