Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
