Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
