margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
