someone get that fucking seahorse.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
