Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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