your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
