I wish I could punch you in the face.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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