Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
