I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
