Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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