sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
