Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
