My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
