She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
