dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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