I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
