wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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