Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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