Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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