are you so shy because you have an std?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
