I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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