my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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