paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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