A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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