hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
