Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
