Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
