Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
