Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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