how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
