Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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