I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
