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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
