Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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