I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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